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I Miss My Honey, where has he gone?

It is 4 am, I tucked My Honey in bed a few hours ago, I am sitting here having a moment alone, and tomorrow is my 60th birthday. I met John on a blind date 43 years ago. Next week will also be our 39th wedding anniversary. John was diagnosed with early onset 11 years ago at age 52. Who would have known at such a young age of 49 I would become a caregiver for the love of my life. We were both in denial for years and I searched Dr. after Dr. to tell me something different. He is now in stage 6 which is moderate to severe, I pray that the final stage does not come quick. Sometimes I feel selfish praying this because I know he is suffering and He tells me he just wants it to be over. I miss that man that was so independent, a leader of our family and such a good loving husband and father. We have one son, and my husband keeps remembering taking him to the school bus stop in his military uniform, Our son Johnny went to military school 1st and 2nd grade. We now have a beautiful daughter in law Iaisha, and Jeremiah and Hannah our 2 grandchildren. They help their grandpa when they see him. They know he is sick, but are too young to understand what is happening. It breaks my heart to see them take him by the hand and guide him where he needs to go. Also my Honey will not be able to experience his grandchildren the way we had hoped for. He tells me he will never forget me because I am His Love, his brain, and his helper. We have had a wonderful life together. These last 11 years have been difficult and so heartbreaking but I give thanks to God for allowing me to be home with him everyday. We were both able to retire at our young age right after he was diagnosed. This is our story and I continue to pray for a cure. God bless.

His Love
Temescal Valley, CA